But one that should be discussed.

June T. Bassemir, Guest Essayist, from Long Island, New York
Copyrighted 2008

When I asked June for some bio information, she wrote: "My biggest accomplishment (besides having 4 children who have produced 9 grandchildren) was restoring a 1931 Model A Ford; and no, I was not the original owner." June lives on Long Island, New York and her family is among the first settlers, after the Indians, that is. I appreciate June's ability to work with words--yes, another Wordwright for sure.
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Living in a house with one bathroom, three sons and a husband, my mother saw early on that she was outnumbered. Something had to be done. I will ever be grateful to her that she trained the men in our family to put the seat down long before I arrived on the scene. It was the kind thing to do.  As a result of her determined effort; I never had the distasteful experience of sitting down without the benefit of said seat. That is, until I was newly married.
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Late one night and without the benefit of any light it WAS my unfortunate experience.  That was the first and only time it happened because I followed my mother's example on the matter and taught my husband to be considerate of me and replace the seat. When the sons came along; they did the same for the sake of their sisters. Now, you would think that was all I had to say on the subject, but it's not. Grandsons are now on the scene and there are many. Once again I am outnumbered when they visit. This lesson has to be taught either by drilling over and over until it finally sinks in or with a note in red letters, above the flushing unit. The note explains that it is a loving habit for them to form for the next person who follows them into the necessary room...to wit, the  grandmother.Â

This lack of consideration was recently experienced with the visit of an air conditioning man who came to spend some time going over an estimate for air conditioning my house. After his consultation which actually took less than an hour, he stood up to leave but asked first, if he could go to the bathroom.  This question always feels like an intrusion to me and it makes me inwardly groan when those who have come to do some small service work, asks it. One time I had the foresight to say to a burly, overfed, 300 lb. electrician. "Sorry, I am having trouble with my cesspool right now and I'm limiting the number of flushes." But, this time I was taken by surprise and so I had no alternative but to point in the direction of the pink room, next to the laundry room down the hall. While he was occupied, I looked over his worksheet and noticed it compared exactly to the work of the previous estimate from another company.   However this man's presentation was more detailed and I was leaning towards giving him the contract even though his price was considerably higher than the first.  I had to weigh which estimate I would choose.

After his visit to the tiled room and his departure from the house, I sat down to compare the two figures again, mulling over the decision. I liked this second man's approach in showing me just where each air duct and return would be placed and where the unit would sit outside. I could forgive him for asking to use the bathroom, but there had to be more than the money saved with the first estimate, to make the decision.  I was still thinking of which way to go, when just by chance; I happened to pass the bathroom door and looked in. Oh no -- HE LEFT THE SEAT UP! That did it.  Needless to say the first A/C man will get the job. Of course, I would never tell No. 2 man that he lost the job due to this small infringement, but that was the deciding factor - plain and simple.
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So mothers, teach your sons to think of others especially of their future wives and daughters and put the seat down. I won't insist on the lid also coming down but occasionally that would be nice too. And workmen - think and act ahead and make sure you can give an estimate or do the work involved without asking that ugly question: "May I use your bathroom?"

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THANKS for some great tips on a delicate subject, June.
THE WORDWRIGHT