Just asking the question is therapeutic, at least I hope so. As I get more in touch with our changing world and its electronic nuances I often wonder if any normalcy is possible. I probably will have to admit that being into the middle 70’s age bracket has a lot to do with it but regularly I still wonder why so many things have to change, or do they?

As this week began I had a very personal experience with a nearly 4-month-old laser photocopy machine “go crazy” on me. I will not honor the actual brand name with you because that is a little too much like name-dropping and I would not want to do free advertising for the company that made the machine. I am a bit weird on such advertising anyway – I remember a new car I once bought and a few months later had it in for service. I had removed the dealer sticker from the trunk deck (or wherever it was) and while it was up on the hoist one of the sales supervisors went by and for some strange reason asked, “Whose car is this?” I wasn’t sure what I was in for but I felt qualified to reply, “Mine, why do you ask?” “Well, it doesn’t have our dealership sticker on it.” He seemed a bit perplexed about that and I continued, “It’s my car and I removed the sticker.” He walked off with a rather obviously confused look on his face. The Service Manager was nearby and I said, “Did I say something wrong?” He laughed, “No, you said something right!” To this day I am amazed at people who will display commercial logos on their cars like they were being sponsored by the corporate firm bearing the same name. Secretly I wonder if they need to be reminded what kind of a car they are driving and seeing that name in their rearview mirror confirms they’re driving a Ford (or a Chevy, or a Cadillac – come to think I don’t think I have ever seen a rear window with a “Cadillac” logo).

But back to my photocopy machine. The machine, all of a sudden, started making very poor copies – streaked copy, mottled dots or smudges. Earlier it had given me some problems (today these are called “issues” but I prefer the word “problem”) whenever I used the feeder feature. I had found the feeder feature rather handy with a stack of data to copy—it worked like a charm and I didn’t have to lift the lid, place another page on it, shut the lid and etc etc. The only problem was, again, all of a sudden a thin black streak appeared on the left margin of the photocopy. One of the clerks at the store suggested I “clean” a little window near where the originals enter the machine because there might be a little spec of dirt there and that would account for that streak. Sorry, that didn’t do the trick but maybe I needed to get more light and a bigger magnifying glass – I never found that spec although I wiped it sufficiently.

Well, this crazy story had a happy ending but getting there took some doing. After no less than four phone calls to the manufacturer of this electronic marvel and a kindergarten variety e-mail (from the manufacturer) for the customer (me) to “fix the problem” simply. By the way, I rate the suggestions as “kindergarten variety” because they directed me to “clean the glass” to get rid of specs and any other dirt and another little “window”. I had already done both of these nifty suggestions—on my cognition as a result of being 75 years old – I’ve learned a few things, you see. Some knowledge is applicable to a lot of different subjects. With this last “tip” and my reaction to a problem, I am encouraged to quote Will Rogers, “There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.” Well, Will, there are some areas where you can utilize information in unrelated fields.

The happy ending was when I called “the store” where I bought the copier. Just so I won’t be “out of order” by this web logging service and give an advertisement I will resort to giving a hint or two as to “the company”. There is the word “office” in the title and also three other letters that suggest you might get the maximum service when you shop there. Two great ladies saw my exasperation and recognized I had (for a change) bought the “extended guarantee” (which I rarely buy) and simply said, “Bring in your machine and we will replace it.” The new copier now sits where the old one did and I expect it to work fine. If it doesn’t I know where to go to get satisfaction.

Oh, a bit more about this crazy world. In all seriousness and honesty it would be unfair if I left this story hang on a sour note. Where else but in this electronic wizardry world could you punch a few keys, sending a file that mysteriously contains “pixels” (an unknown term 50 years ago, or less I’m quite sure) to “somewhere” and an hour later go to the store and pick up great color photos. Not too many years ago we used to mail a roll of film and were happy to get the prints back in about a week.

One more success story and I will close for today. Our 2001 Chevy Lumina has a way of giving you messages you would rather not see but sometimes they are important. It may not be common knowledge but if you own such a car and they “change your oil” they are supposed to re-set the system to update the computer verifying you got your oil changed. Unfortunately customarily the place I get my oil changed (a certified Chevy dealer by the way) forgets to reset the system. I got my oil changed last Friday and sure enough, the “Check your oil” light came on. Since I know how to do it, I reset it myself. Story over? Not quite. A few hours later another light came on – “Service your engine soon”. I thought it would be a simple trip back to the dealership and they would do what my son had always done (in the 22-1/2 years he worked there): Grab a scanner and plug it under the dash, push a few buttons in several different modes and said, “Dad, you need this or that done…” Since my son now works at our local public school transportation garage I had to ask the service writer if they would have someone check this out, to which he said, “Mr.Venrick, I will have to charge you $80 to do a diagnostic.” Don’t think so, I thought as I walked away from the counter. After supper we stopped out at our son’s house and he grabbed his personal scanner (bought it for himself while he worked at the Chevy dealership—has the receipt to prove it’s his), plugged it in, punched a few buttons and said, “Dad, I will have to clean your…(whatever the part was) but I’ll have to get a couple gaskets first.” Seems a bit odd to me that when you buy a car that is smart enough to let you know “something is wrong” that the dealer has to charge you $80 to plug in a gadget to tell them what it is that needs fixed, and you also have to buy the parts too! Yep, we live in a crazy world. Glad our son is a trained certified mechanic – not all are, so I’ve been told.

If it wasn’t for this crazy electronic world the garage would have had to tear my upper engine all apart to tell me what was not working.

THE WORDWRIGHT

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