My wife, Jean, has told me about her Grandma Steel’s Christmas Box several times and this year Jean wanted to repeat her Grandma Steel’s annual practice at Christmas time. This Christmas of 2006 was the time my wife made up a unique Christmas box for each one of our adult children.

Jean's Grandma Steel was a very individual kind of lady, no frills -- to the point that Christmas decorations were a red light bulb in the ceiling receptacle and nothing else -- they never even had a Christmas tree. She didn't hold back on everything in life though. When Grandma Steel made ice cream she always used real cream! Jean said you didn't get "much" ice cream but what you got was real good! When Grandma Steel made potato salad she used a great big crock. Jean's dad once recalled a time when he snuck into Grandma’s pantry to "sample" some of his mother's potato salad and after he took a few bites he carefully smoothed over the surface to make it look like nobody had been in it.

The two meager examples above tell the story about Grandma Steel and to put it yet another way, “Grandma Steel was plain.” This annual practice at Christmas time to give her adult children a plain box of staples was just one example of her plain ways. There were three children in the Steel Family: two boys, Ray and Floyd -- no nicknames in this plain woman's mind, and the girl was simply named “Ruth”. No middle names for any of her children but when Ruth became a nurse she had to have a middle name so she picked one out of the air. The reason behind such short names was so no one could make up nicknames for her children. Grandma Steel’s Dad's had a rather odd habit of nicknaming his kids. Grandma Steel's Dad called grandma’s sister Lulu Ann, "Fred", and all Jean's Dad ever knew her as was "Aunt Fred". Obviously Grandma Steel was tired of such foolishness and no child of hers would have nicknames if she could help it.

Jean's Grandma & Grandpa Steel lived in the company house of the West Side Lumber Company as part of his pay and he shared that duplex house with another employee. Jean’s father made routine visits to his folks when he got off work (at the same lumber mill) and at Christmas when he stopped by Mom's he picked up his special box from his mother at Christmas time. (Jean said they never went to Grandma Steels for Christmas but to Jean's mother's folks. This is no different than most families who share holidays.)

The special gift Ray (Jean’s Dad) would pick up was in a "Blue Ribbon Paint" cardboard box that had held four gallon cans of paint, which the West Side Lumber Company sold. Inside the box were "plain" items, a can of peaches, flour, sugar, a roll of toilet tissue and such but the box was full and had no Christmas wrappings at all. One year Jean spied a small bottle of Evening in Paris perfume -- this she took for herself (of course she was the "girl" of her Dad's family so it was obviously hers anyway--her brother sure had no use for it).

Jean has often wanted to duplicate this "special Christmas box of staples" with our children and this year she finally got it done. We did not cover the box with Christmas wrappings. The corrugated boxes we used were plain "commercial" boxes I picked up at a local print shop. Inside the box were staples like a couple boxes of tissues and paper towels, a small box of store-bought mint-chocolate cookies we got at Dollar General, a 2007 calendar, two containers of homemade cookies, a couple chap sticks, and chewing gum. Jean did want some kind of a label to identify this rather unusual "gift" so I made her a plain label simply identifying the box for what it was; but I wanted something extra in it to make it special and when Jean wanted to provide a recipe of the cookies, I came up with just one more special item to be included in the box. Since the two containers (we used whipped topping containers) of cookies were in the box I worked up a little booklet providing recipes for the cookies. For the record, I included the date authenticating the occasion and purpose of the little recipe booklet.

Was it a good idea? We thought so but that could be because both my wife and I are also rather plain people, however I hope as our children continue in their adult lives, hopefully one day years after we’re gone, they will remember their mother’s “Grandma’s Christmas Box”. Incidentally, we did give our adult children gift cards to go with the Christmas box.

THE WORDWRIGHT

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A day or two ago I was listening to one of my special challengers, Ravi Zacharias. Ravi mentioned several words that he really did not care to talk about usually but that day he set those feelings aside. One set of words he mentioned was “politically correct”. What are we doing when we use such words? “We are tampering with reality”, he said. The word “issues” is another my wife and I have caught in statements or conversations. What ever happened to “problems”? Our society has a penchant for buzzwords.

Another preacher that shares a spot at our breakfast table, via TV, was talking about reality and he said, “Bring the third graders back in (who had been dismissed from the adult worship service), they can spot a phony right away.” Most kids I have known have traits that most adults can’t handle – reality and truth. “Boy is that person BIG,” blurts out a third grader when they see a heavy person. ”Look at those big ears,” says the child in his unpolished communication. Whatever there is about another person, you can be sure a child will not hold back from reality or truth. Admittedly sometimes it would be a little less embarrassing if we could sew their mouths shut before such truths could be uttered but that wouldn’t be politically correct – oops, there I have used one of those sets of words.

Before I let too much space go by, I need to recognize another group that is not afraid of telling it as it is: “older people”. I vividly remember sitting in a doctor’s waiting room when I glanced up noticing a rather large lady across the room and instinctively I knew what was about to happen, and I was ready. My 90-year-old Dad started to talk, “Boy is that…” and immediately I reached over and put my hand over Dad’s mouth and said something (anything) loud that would hopefully drown out whatever anyone thought they heard Dad say! We got through that situation but knowing Dad, there would be other times, just give him the opportunity.

Can you think of other words or sets of words that are tampering with reality? What about “single parents”? I am not talking about a wife or a husband who has experienced a mate dying; I am talking about a woman who merely “wants” a child and could care less who the father is! It is almost like choosing a puppy in a pet store, “…I want one of those.” Parenting, by definition, is when two people of the opposite sex uniquely join together mentally and physically and produce a child in a way that has been occurring ever since time began. In fact, most “things” are created when a set or pair “get together”. Recently I was rather surprised to find out that praying mantises do not behave the same way in captivity as they behave in the wild. I have often read about the female praying mantis simply “biting off the head” of the male once they have mated. That sure is one way of Planned Parenthood. However, just the other day I was told the female praying mantis does not behave that way in the wild. (Not sure how such observations were made but let’s assume it is true, you know, “Don’t look now but we are being watched.”)

“Voting machine” – Some days I long for the long narrow slip of paper with X’s and boxes and ruled columns where a name was printed and to the left was an empty box. Inserting an “X” in the appropriate box meant, “YES, this is the person I want elected.” Enter progress and technology. I am glad I don’t live in Florida because Floridians were bad-mouthed for not being able to vote because of the technology of their particular voting machine. The word chad was invented – never heard of it before, but now millions know what a chad is. I know time is important but let’s face it, we messed with reality when we tried to get a machine to do a job people could do. In our polling place in the year 2006 we were introduced to a “tested, tried and proven system” of a computerized software program. Guess what? The first time this program was used in Fairfield County, Ohio, at least one issue was not polled correctly because of a human slip up! An expensive recount was ordered and ordered again. So much for new being better.

How about “free” as one of those politically correct words? Anyone older than 18 (or younger if we’re talking “smart kids”) know full well when you see that word “free” there is a catch; “...free when you buy a certain promotion, etc.” “Up to…” is another come-on that are half-truths where the seller or promoter will make a sale, create a YES vote from an incautious prospect. Even the banking institution (as a whole) has played with integrity when they only care about closing a loan contract and they could care less if the naïve buyer is unable to meet his obligation to pay for the mortgaged car or house. The bank will merely get the house or car back to sell again and sadly the buyer’s credit may be affected as well.

Such shenanigans may seem as a mere marketing ploys but let’s be honest; the store is tampering with truth and reality. Just because an item is packaged as a “Giant Size” doesn’t mean it’s the best bargain. A 32 oz product marked as “Giant Size” may indeed cost more than two 16 oz containers. In our area of Supermarkets tantalizing shoppers with “10 for…” or “2 for…” and I would not be afraid to bet there are some who think they have to buy more than one of such products. How about the price “come-ons” like “For under $10.00” – like $9.99? "These are simply marketing gimmicks.” Really?

The term or social service called “Planned Parenthood” has to be included in this study of ploys. Is it really planning or is it using pills to prevent normal birth processes? And is this service also involved in abortions? If “yes” is the answer to either of these questions, then the fact of the matter is population control! Loyal members of the Roman Catholic Church were consistently noted as having large families for years. Of course some problems or exceptions could be cited but there are “natural ways” to prevent conception and there is no rocket science or medication involved – consider the word “abstinence”. “Safe sex” is probably the biggest lie going. The use of condoms is about as safe as the “game” of Russian roulette.

“Nothing is politically right that is morally wrong.”* What more needs to be said, other than, let’s quit tampering with reality!

THE WORDWRIGHT

* I saw this quote in John Clayton’s magazine, “Does God Exist?” September-October 2006 edition.
http://www.doesgodexist.org

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When a child loses a parent it is not uncommon to have the thought run through one’s mind, “Wonder what they left?” Lightly, this thought is most accurately answered with the cliché: “Everything,” because we can take nothing with us when we die. However, because we know there are those who scan the newspaper to see what an estate was worth, it is also a fact that what a parent leaves the survivors is an interest to many.

Many months before my father died I anticipated saying something at his funeral. The phrase “Golden Opinions” is attributed to Shakespeare. Often eulogies become so embellished that the friends of the deceased might be tempted to peer into the casket wondering if this is the same person they knew. When my father passed away, as is surely the case for everyone (eventually), I knew there would be those present who recognized Dad as a most generous person, and there would be those present who worked with him during his factory (mold shop) days. I knew the opinions would differ in these two groups; and I also knew Dad left me some things about which neither group would ever know.

On this side of my father’s funeral (after he was gone) I am grateful I am able to say I have no regrets. Both my wife and I talked with Dad, helping him, encouraging him to tell about “the good old days”. We both thanked him throughout the years, and especially I wanted him to know I appreciated what he attempted, and accomplished, raising his youngest son (me) after Mother died. There were times or opportunities we missed, I am sure, but in general it was our purpose to let Dad know we really appreciated him for what he did for us. Flowers strewn over a casket mean nothing to the one in the casket—we should let our loved ones (parents, children or friends) know how we feel about them while they are alive!

Months before I had started plans for such a tribute and when the actual day came, I thought it best for our minister to read such comments. However, at the zero hour, nearly giant anxiety came over me when I was almost unable to find those notes. Finally, with the help of my wife (my chief research helper) those notes were uncovered and I was able to compose what I had been months planning.

I am writing this to encourage you to do the same thing – let others know what you feel, what you did (leading up to those last days) and hopefully this will cause ripples (of assorted memories) throughout the lives of those in attendance at the memorial services. The following words by C. Leonard Allen, of Abilene, Texas were great help to me:

“Out of the constant rush of experiences in our past we selectively fashion a story. We highlight some experiences, forget others, simplify complex events and piece together fragments. That story becomes out past, and that past powerfully shakes our present lives.”

Allowing for some exceptions, I would say that hardly a person who reads this would not be able to find something they should or could say about a parent, a child or a mate they have lost through death. I believe this is that purging experience that providence provides in memorial services. Since that day of my Dad’s funeral I have realized that is what they call “closure”, and we all need it but everyone does not equally experience closure.

In closing these remarks, here are some thoughts I wrote which were mentioned at Dad’s funeral: “I want to say I am grateful to God that Dad gave me the opportunity to practice the presence of Jesus, the reason to truly and sincerely pray for patience and the awareness of others’ feelings; and the assurance that God’s way is the best way for us to live. I doubt that Dad was fully aware of what he gave me because there were times when we were just not “in agreement” but one thing I know for sure, God knew full well what I needed, and it became plain to me in those closing days.

No, my father did not leave a huge financial heritage but he did leave a very modest amount to share with my brother—and what he did leave me I attempted to tell those who came to be with me at the time of my grief; and the words I shared were my tribute to my father. If you have never made such plans, I urge and encourage you to begin such plans.

The above essay was originally written a little over two years after my Dad passed away in 1994. The day I published this (December 4, 2006) is his birthday and he was born in Zanesville, Ohio, December 4, 1901. I just wanted to dust off my original essay a bit and remember Dad in a special way.

THE WORDWRIGHT

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Third Edition of the series on The faith of our Founding Fathers

As I begin putting words together for this third and final edition (series on Founding Fathers’ Faith) I need to resort to some basics. It is so easy to get caught up in the fray of circumstances and somehow allow the basics to become clouded by the excitement of the chase. Haven’t you wondered just what a dog would do if he actually caught the car he is busting himself to catch? The God of Christians and Jews has never been known to be in a hurry; a very short list could start with Abraham. God promised Abraham he would become the father of a great nation – greater in population than the sands of the sea. His wife Sarah was in on that promise and “laughed within herself” when she overheard the Lord say she was going to have a baby; and she was 90 when she got that word! “Yeah,” she thought, “and that old man I’m married to will turn 34 too!”

Moses qualifies to be one more saint who faithfully “waited in line” for God to work. Someone once said of Moses, “He lived a third of his life learning how to be somebody; and the next third of his life being nobody; and the last third of his life as a man who had learned both lessons.” God told him he was going to deliver the children of Israel from bondage. “Yeah, Lord, but when?” The 11th chapter of the book of Hebrews begins with these words: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” (King James Version) This single verse is probably among the large list of words that are hard for humans to understand.

We earthlings invented the idea of “time” as we know it; God did not invent the clock. Did someone notice the shadows changed their position as the day slowly moved along? Can’t you just see the gleam in the eye of that first person who thought, “Wonder what I can do with that information?” The monks dedicated their lives to a system of holiness that involved saying many prayers and writing many words, word after word and line after line. “How long do we do the work of scribes?” and “When is the next period of prayers and when does it end?” This became the project of a person like the one who noticed shadows moving. What else could move? The rest is history. Surprisingly the very instrument man created as a tool to “count time” ultimately made man a slave. At least that is what a lot of hourly workers often think – “I’m a slave to the clock.” That slavery continues to this day to meet deadlines, appointments and schedules.

It is obvious I am among many who are concerned about where some are leading our nation. How far can you bend a principle before it breaks? It is still faith in divine principles that compels those of us watching others “do their thing” that makes us wonder, “Where are we headed?”

During the seven decades I have lived I have observed life and people. It is not difficult to reach conclusions that should alarm us. What happens if we become lethargic in our prayers? What happens when we fail to “teach our children in the way of the Lord?” Moral decay is the result and integrity, ethics and faith in God are no longer important. What happens when we fail to administer justice properly or maybe go a step further than what is just? Ponder the following quote:

"[N]either the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure
the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt."

-- Samuel Adams (essay in The Public Advertiser, Circa 1749)
Reference: The Life and Public Service of Samuel Adams, William Wells, vol. 1 (22)

Humans can make mistakes. Some have been falsely accused and even executed. Only through sheer bulldogged research of a third party putting bits and pieces together it was discovered the one executed was completely innocent! Such news is regretfully much too late.

But back to the concern of some – and the wisdom of our Founding Fathers. Lethargy, integrity, patriotism, apathy, insincerity, agendas, selfishness, pride and hate -- nine words that cannot be taken lightly or ignored. I believe we need watchmen as much as those who thought they were safe in castles of stone. We need boundaries and guidelines. Someone is always ready to push the envelope one inch further. Our two-party system supposedly was “the answer” to keeping our ship of state on an even keel. The possibility of one party striking off in an unwise direction has always existed; however as I have said before, it is disturbing to me why either party feels they must have complete control. The Party has become more important than the people! It makes no difference whether you are a Democrat or a Republican – there is not a nickel’s worth of difference from the other, they are both guilty of improprieties! In spite of the sham of addressing each with “The honorable representative from Iowa (or any of the 50 states)…” yet moments later they are planting seeds of distrust for the party on the other side of the aisle. If they are honorable, trusting them should not be a problem. Where is the cooperation and compromise that is vital to good government?

If you are among those who feel quotes by the Founding Fathers have been over dramatized, so be it. The resources I have most used were “written down and preserved” through the years long before e-mail urban legends became the norm. Perhaps we have been desensitized to honor and integrity so much by unscrupulous public servants we have concluded virtues are non-existent. But the words, “our sacred duty” were not glibly spoken by the Founding Fathers. “When Patrick Henry gave one of the most famous speeches of the revolutionary era, saying, ‘Give me liberty or give me death,’ his fellow delegates (including Jefferson and Washington) sat in awed silence.” (From William J. Bennett’s “Our Sacred Honor”)

Somewhere we have to consider the responsibility to think and make value judgments. Several years ago I came across the following quote that needs to be considered:.

“The person who won’t think has no advantages over the person who can’t think.” …Paul Lutus

The first person that comes to my mind as falling in line with this comment is the one who says, “Don’t confuse me with facts, my mind is made up.” One thing for sure, they might as well admit to being equal to the poor soul who cannot think.

The next quote is one by President George Washington. Please note the inclusiveness or far-reaching concept Washington makes; we cannot or should not ignore the essence of the thought that “our God” is really not American but is available and reachable by the entire world.

"It is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favors."

-- George Washington (Thanksgiving Proclamation, 3 October 1789)
Reference: George Washington: A Collection, W.B. Allen, ed. (543)

I believe there have been sufficient references in the use of quotes this humble essayist has supplied, but, in closing this brief series, please consider the following:

“When lies are repeated often enough, even wise men begin to accept them.” Ben Ames Williams, in “House Divided, 1947)”

"The world is a dangerous place to live---not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." ---Albert Einstein

"The world has no room for cowards. We must all be ready somehow to toil, to suffer, to die. And yours is not the less noble because no drum beats before you when you go out into your daily battlefields, and no crowds shout about your coming when you return from your daily victory or defeat." ---Robert Louis Stevenson

"Immigrants in past centuries came here to become Americans, not to remain foreigners, much less to proclaim the rights of their homelands to reclaim American soil, as some of the Mexican activist groups have done... Today, immigrant spokesmen promote grievances, not gratitude, much less patriotism." ---Thomas Sowell

"[R]eligion, or the duty which we owe to our creator, and the manner of discharging it, can be directed only by reason and conviction, not by force or violence..." ---Article 16 of the Virginia Bill of Rights

"Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person."
---Mother Teresa

“Beware of all politicians at all times, but beware of them most sharply when they talk of reforming and
improving the constitution.” --- H. L. Mencken

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